It was heading towards winter, and fast!! The days were drawing shorter, that cool autumn air was starting to chill our mornings and evenings. It was time to make a decision – were our bikes ready to wrap up for the winter and await some nice spring sunshine or was there time for one final blast before the depths of winter hit us with vengeance?
I’m guessing you don’t have to consider this question too hard to come up with the same answer we did – surely we could fit one more trip in before hunkering down? We decided pretty quickly that if we could fit a little jaunt in before the end daylight savings was upon us, then that would be ideal!! And as it happens daylight saving fell on Easter Weekend this year – perfect weekend to get away!!
The wheels starting ticking over – what did we want to do? Where did we want to go? What challenges or adventures did we want to seek this time? Well…..I want to draw you memory back to a time not so long ago, but it feels like a different world ago – back to a trip where arguably Steve and I became more manly for what we went through (if that is even possible – HAHAHAHA!!!). Remember back to that time when we thought doing a trip through rough farm tracks up around Old Dunstan Road the day after the biggest rain of the year was a good idea? Remember back to our Mud and Guts trip? It’s hard to believe this is only about 17 months ago!!!! If you don’t remember this previous adventure, we recommend you head back and browse it again – it was EPIC!!!
So we had demons to expel, we had wrongs to put right – we were on a mission – to head through this previous route, to camp at Serpentine Church and complete this previous adventure with flying colours – but in the opposite direction!!!!
WRONG #1 – we had planned to head off on Thursday afternoon and take two nights to complete this adventure, but as the day approached we looked at the weather and saw a quick cold southerly blast heading through on Friday, and looking out at the following days – Sunday & Monday looked fantastic – we decided to postpone leaving until lunchtime Sunday to avoid the cold and possibly wet weather, but this would only leave us one night. You’d think a good decision based on our rather wet and slippery experiences last time!!
Now this turned out to be a bit weird too, we usually roll straight out a weeks works and into an adventure. So that building of anticipation doesn’t get much chance to get the better of you. But by leaving our departure by a couple of days and chillaxing into the weekend it made it a bit difficult and a bit strange to get motivated for a late weekend adventure.
Finally though we got underway in beautiful blue skies, but what we hadn’t anticipated in the forecast on Thursday was the gale force winds that were going to hit the South Island on Sunday and Monday. So although it looked beautiful, it acted like a standard Wellington day and blasted you to smithereens – so tiring and frustrating!!! But we were not going to let this stop us, we had demons to deal with – we were on a mission – heading for the barren open lands of Central Otago in gale force winds – so wise, we are!!!
Leaving Mosgiel was painful, we described it as riding a bucking bronco, you just didn’t know when the next kick of wind was going to hit you, and when it did you had to be ready to react and keep yourself upright and heading in the right direction!! Once you got over the utter scariness of it, then the laughing at the absurdness of it, it actually became quite fun – like a game of bull riding. Good times!
We had decided to head through Waipori Falls again – #1 – it is a beautiful ride and #2 – it is in a forested valley so the winds should be less severe. We were right on both accounts 🙂 .
WRONG #2 – we arrived in Waipori Falls and stopped for a snack, it had already been hard work getting to this point and it could be pretty wearying on the next bit through to Lawrence so we fueled ourselves. As we sat munching away looking at our beauties, Steve swore out loud. His kids had been climbing on his bike a few days ago and had managed to knock his bike over – twice – without flattening themselves – whew, but also dammit!!!! And now he saw some of the damage that had actually been done. His radiator guard was bent right back and was rubbing against his fuel tank. We could see a little wear mark in the tank – mmmmm, was this a problem? We bent the guard back away from the tank and examined it. Whew, it was alright – no damage done!!!
Another problem avoided, time to head on. The next stretch of road has always just been freshly graded when we’ve ridden it before and I was dreading this possibility with these intense winds. At least our luck was in now, the road hadn’t been graded in ages and the wind seemed to have died off a little bit – so it was not the complete and utter nightmare it could have been.
On to Lawrence we headed and then off up to Beaumont. At Beaumont, instead of crossing the bridge and staying on the highway, we’d been told about a road that stays on the other side of the river right through to Millers Flat. And it was really cool – it was also part of some cycle trail or another, who know which one as there seems to be so many everywhere these days (aha – I’ve just found out it’s called the Millennium Track – never heard of it before!!). It was a great road and we were flying – just trying to avoid destroying any cyclists – Steve tells me he came very close at one stage but no cyclists destroyed in the end!!.
We came across a very random sight not long before Millers Flat – a cemetery with only two graves in it – and a very weird story. This was the Lonely Graves Historic Reserve at Horseshoe Bend:
An anonymous grave at Horseshoe Bend, probably of an 1860s miner, was provided with a headboard by local man William Rigney, who added the words, ‘Somebody’s darling lies buried here.’ A new headstone, reproducing the words, was put in place in 1903. Rigney died in 1912 and was buried next to the earlier grave, his headstone marked with the words ‘The man who buried “Somebody’s Darling”’.
Sounds weird right – well it’s not even true – head to these couple of links to read more if you’re interested – Te Ara Encyclopedia or DOC.
WRONG #3 – we headed on from the Lonely Graves with some fresh energy as we’d spotted a possible different route up to Lake Onslow, and thought we might just check it out. So instead of heading up the known route, we sought out the unknown route for a change, and then spent 30 or so minutes going up and then back down the same road. We headed up Beaumont Station Road and then Bennett Road and arrived at a farmhouse and shearing shed. The road split in a few different directions and we weren’t really sure which to take, but we also saw the farmer and thought it best to ask. He was a nice old guy, and openly and honestly advised us that we should not go that way because we might get shot by the guy who owns the pine forest just up the way. Apparently he’d had a few “adventurers” use his land without approval which had led to him being rather unhappy with adventurers in general – so THANKS to the few selfish d..kheads out there who have spoiled it for the rest of us – unfortunately we’ve heard this type of story all over the place.
So we headed back down to Millers Flat and up the known route to Lake Onslow, and as it turned out we had some pretty damn good timing – a GAS specialty. As we arrived on the ridge behind Millers Flat, the lighting was unbelievable. The sun was setting, the hills were alive with sensational shadows and it was quite spectacular. We just chilled and marveled for a bit – it’s not often you get such a special moment in time……or is it????
As we headed on we ran into a couple of dudes parked on the side of the road. A pair of hunters who’d had some issues with their quad bike/ute thingee – some sort of little off-road vehicle, but it was not running, they’d blown some mechanical thing – obviously I’d paid good attention to whatever they said was broken. They had some mates on their way so we left them to it, after we’d confirmed they had some beers to keep the occupied, as the light was getting low.
WRONG #4 – we cruised on to and then past Lake Onslow in the dying light, all the while thinking we were heading for Serpentine Church for the night. But as it started getting dark, we started wavering in our certainty. Should we press on, or should we modify our plans on the fly?? Mmmmm, tough question. We scouted a spot that would have been pretty nice, but decided we could do better. We pushed on for a little bit, until we came to a stream crossing (apparently the Teviot River North Branch) which had a nice little flat area upstream off the road. We scouted a bit more and decided this was for us. It was almost dark and we were still a fair way from Serpentine. Remember all well set plans need to be flexible enough to withstand change – and we’re pretty comfortable in the flexible world of change, so just rolled with it.
As it turns out, the spot we decided on was nothing short of sensational. We found a nice little mound and tucked up against it to get as much protection as possible from the wind – which really didn’t matter as once the sun went down the wind just completely died off. It was pretty strange given the pounding we’d taken all day. So instead of setting up camp immediately we settled in for some treats. I’d packed away some ciders and chippies so we settled in for an after work drink like we’d just arrived at the pub, settling into our TRONOs and indulging. It was super cool, and also super cool (some might say chilly!!). We then passed the time with dinner, tunes and whisky before getting a pretty early night.
As morning dawned the sun peaked over the hills and again we realised how unbelievably stunning this spot was. Man, how cool is it to find a fantastic spot like this in the wilderness to call home for the night. It really is invigorating and re-energising to spend a little bit of time in such a special place.
WRONG #5 – we got on the road after packing up, finally aiming for Serpentine, when we spotted another track that just screamed out for some investigation. We couldn’t ignore the screams and headed off down the track, but we did have some semblance of a plan – the satellite images suggested we could follow this track, skip Serpentine, make it to Alexandra for some lunch and hit Serpentine on the way back through. Sounded like a solid plan, until about 10 minutes later after some really cool riding, where we came across a fence. We immediately realised this was the same fence that we were restricted by in our previous Serpentine trip, this was the farmer who was not referred to very nicely by his neighbours. We checked out the satellite again and thought there might be an option about 500m down the fence line, but that would mean total off-road riding. We were keen, and bounced and slid our way across the tussocks to a spot where there was absolutely nothing going on, no gates, no tracks, no nothing that was going to help us. Again we were at a dead-end and had to head back to the “main” road.
Between a rock and a hard place – haha!!! 
We arrived at the turn-off to Serpentine Road, and were ready to achieve what we’d set out to achieve, even after a few little detours. It was still early and we still had much to achieve today so we were excited for the next leg. First stop, five minutes up the road, was Deep Creek, the scene of the major issues last time we went through this way. Now was the time for redemption, we were going to show the Serpentine who was boss………
We crossed Deep Stream without too many issues, although there was a lot of hooting and joy, even though my bike was struggling to clear some flooding from a little drop back on the previous off-road track. But we were through and redemption was ours…..or was it??? I cruised on ahead, it was rugged work, the track was hard and pretty severely rutted but it certainly passable. In fact, generally it was pretty damn good fun, until I looked in my mirror – mmmmm, no Steve. I stopped and waited for a bit, still no Steve…….
WRONG #6 – I turned around and headed back down the hill, and not 200m from Deep Creek Steve was just chilling by his bike. As he saw me he shook his head, it was not good news!!! I pulled up and he set about describing how he’d come around the corner and felt something pull him from behind – he’d turned around to see a tentacle reaching out from Deep Creek snaring his back wheel. He had immediately recognised this beast as the Serpent of Serpentine, the same beast that had snuck up his exhaust and into his engine the last time we’d crossed Deep Creek. This evil beast would just not let us through…..
A strange and definitely less likely story is that he’d got a little too close to the edge of a rut, a wheel had slipped in and sent him down in a flash. He’d landed on his shoulder and his bike had landed on him. He’d struggled for a bit to get his bike off, eventually finding a way to slide out from under it. He’d stood his bike up, straightened himself out and took a few deep breaths. His shoulder was a bit sore but good enough so he got his bike ready to go……but there was a problem – his clutch lever was snapped off right at the base. This is not good when you need to pull in the clutch to start the bike, let alone once it’s started actually getting it in gear and moving. UH OH!!!
Had all these wrong’s we’d endured set us up for this ultimate failure. By breaking the trip mojo with delayed starts, bent radiator bars, dead end routes, and unplanned camping sites, had we unwittingly allowed this serpent to enter our adventure and have its way with us? Who can say, but I’m sure you’ll draw your own opinions on this risky behaviour we set about and what it may or may not have caused.
So we rolled Steve’s bike back down to the flat by Deep Creek, as the serpent retreated into it’s lair with its job done, and started nutting out what we could do. The first important factor is that we had no spare lever, so we had to work out a way to get Steve’s bike running again, otherwise I’d be towing out of here for a second time. We tried a few different ways to get some leverage without success, before tightening the clutch cable as tight as we could to mean it would take less pull to engage it. With a little hook in the break line of the lever we found a way to leverage this against the housing. It was very rudimentary but it would suffice to in getting the bike started and underway. Whew!!!
Then I went to get my bike ready again, only to find my battery was dead. And really dead – it took us about 5-6 roll starts down the hill to get enough charge in it to get my bike started again. One final nip from the serpent before we scarpered. The feelings of frustration coursed through us. We had been beaten by the Serpent of Serpentine again, it was a tough and unforgiving beast and it would not let us have any feelings of success at Deep Creek this time round.
We briefly toyed with the idea of carrying on to Serpentine, but against better judgement decided we should just head home, not wanting to put too much stress on Steve’s clutch. It would still take a fair effort from here to get home. So we got underway heading back out to Lake Onslow Road, Steve arrived at the first gate and had to stall his bike in a very graceful manner. I immediately realised that it was an absolute hassle for him to have to stop for a gate. So as he toddled off, I had to get off and close the gate again before remounting and racing on to try and arrive at the next gate in time to get off and get it open before he arrived. The very next gate we cut it to the wire, but I got the chain off and the gate open as he was mere metres away. The shear joy of this resulted in a game being invented as we cruised down towards Paerau. I successfully raced ahead and got every gate open in time for Steve to cruise on through. It was a fun game, while also feeling like I’d been demoted to his riding footman. Oh well, better to think of the game and fun created in such a disappointing situation rather than focus on what we’d not achieved.
Loganburn 
Taking a break
So we ambled down to Paerau and then along Old Dunstan Road past Loganburn, stopping briefly at some hunting huts for a snack before trudging back to Steve’s place in Mosgiel. The wind had got up again as well and it made for pretty unpleasant riding for bits of the ride home. Maybe it was better we were headed home early…….WHAT…….what am I saying, of course it wasn’t better. But you take the good with the bad, the rough with the smooth, and the disasters with the raging successes and it all ends up with a good story to tell. And what this leaves is an unfinished taste in the mouth, a taste of third times a charm, a taste of serpent as we finally put the Serpentine to bed………………..next time!!!!
A stop at Wal’s for lunch given we’d arrived home so early 
And a game of pool to wrap up a dismal but still fun day 🙂